Up To Date With Ethan Callender Entry 18: The Clown Car Roast

 Up To Date With Ethan Callender Entry 18: The Clown Car Roast

American politics has a bit of a reputation around the world, that being one full of incompetence, indecision, and an inability of the masses to hold in their laughter at the whole thing. This reputation began to take shape long before the Trump Administration, but during those four years of endless embarrassment, America’s uninformed underbelly was exposed. Out of this shoddy woodwork came a veritable parade of basket cases, with some on the left and many on the right. Without further ado, it’s time to send up the clowns.

Clown Car #1: The Demo-Craps

Anyone who has read this blog can probably gather that I’m quite the liberal, especially considering who I’ve directed most of my ire towards. Rest assured, I am not discussing him today, and hopefully never again. That’s not to say that the Democrats are perfect, because they are pretty damn far from it. In fact, some Democrats are pretty ridiculous, such as the first bozo to be discussed.

Clown #1: Sen. Joe Manchin

Damn it, I knew I should have saved that meme for this issue. For one thing, he’s against abolishing the Senate filibuster. Now, I’m not ragging on him for taking this position, although I don’t think upholding such a frequently-abused legislative mechanism is a good idea. Rather, he’s being discussed because corporate money has prevented him from reading the room. The Republicans, in a lot of Democrats’ eyes, are intent on sabotaging President Biden’s agenda so as to facilitate GOP control in the future. And given what the GOP are doing recently to reduce the integrity of our democratic process, that’s not a good outcome for America. Yes, he does have the excuse of being a Democrat Senator in one of the most Republican-leaning states in all of America. That doesn’t change the fact that he is not comprehending the situation our country and Constitution are in as of now. Sadly, he isn’t the only Senator in this predicament.

Clown #2: Kyrsten Sinema

Most of what I said about Manchin applies to Sen. Sinema, as well. However, she isn’t from West Virginia, but from Arizona. Biden won Arizona, despite a bulls*** “audit” and everything. If you don’t see the problem here yet, I’ll tell you: Sen. Kyrsten Sinema is completely out of touch. I understand that Arizona is still transitioning to a blue state, and that mistakes will happen because of that, but this level of ineptitude is downright embarrassing. I get that Arizona will want a moderate Dem Senator, but for the love of God, pick someone who can read a f***ing room.

Clown Car #2: The Repugnant-cans

Whereas my main gripe with the Democrats was that they didn’t see the urgency in our present situation, the Republicans (at least the ones still supporting the former guy) are the root of the problem. While I’m sure I’ll talk about this problem again in future entries, it would suffice to say that these three Republicans have more than one screw loose.

Clown #1: Ron DeSantis

This man is Florida’s Governor at the moment, and is being floated as a 2024 Presidential candidate. In fact, he is seen as the favorite to win if Trump does not run. However, this guy has his own problematic moments, such as an anti-rioting law that may go too far in some respects. Also, he has dragged his feet in the wake of the Surfside condo collapse, and has faced accusations of picking favorites in his state’s vaccine rollout. In short, he’s just another typical politician, and I can say we’ve had enough of those in this country. I will say, however, he didn’t flee the country during a major crisis in his state, so points for that, but not really.

Clown #2: Ted Cruz

Now, here’s someone who did flee his state during the peak of a major crisis. Texas was freezing to death because of a malfunctioning power grid, and this clown proceeded to f*** off to Cancun. I’m not even mentioning his subpar social media abilities or his sad bootlicking of a former President who once called his wife ugly. Rather, I ask “What has Ted Cruz done?” Singlehandedly lead to a government shutdown in 2013? Help fuel the fire of January 6th through promoting the Big Lie? To me at least, those are not positive accomplishments, and he is now rightly known to be an obnoxious ass-licker for one of the worst political figures to do that for. I, for one, would prefer to watch paint dry than imagine that.

Clown #3: Marjorie Taylor Greene

Talking about this idiot makes me want to scream into a pillow and then take a cold shower to wash away the misinformation she spews. No matter what she does, she then proceeds to show the nation how close-minded and overall horrible she is. From comparing COVID-cautious liberals to N*zis (which is so ludicrous I’m actually uncomfortable typing that) to her public support for QAnon, she is completely toxic to our nation. I don’t normally say that a person shouldn’t be involved in politics, but with her, I’ll make a giant exception to that rule. On that note, I’m done. Here’s a meme. Time for me to scream into that pillow.