Up To Date With Ethan Callender Entry 11: Dumped (Feat. Nate Callender in The Lightning Round)

 Up To Date With Ethan Callender Entry 11: Dumped (Feat. Nate Callender in The Lightning Round)

Before this entry truly begins, I’d like to share a few words regarding the pandemic.  I’ll start with the good news, and that is that a vaccine is starting to be distributed to health care workers. The bad news is that the state of affairs is going to get worse before it gets better. However, that second part will only be true if precautions continue to be ignored by as many Americans as is the case now. In fact, if you’re not obeying the guidelines in regards to masks and social distancing, you are contributing directly to the spread of the virus they were put in place for. You are merely the kid whose incessant troublemaking prevents his whole 4th grade class from enjoying recess. Wear a mask, stay six feet apart when possible, and please take the pandemic and vaccine seriously. This is our only path to an acceptable and tolerable new normal. 

With that said, it is time to address the elephant in the room. Sorry, I should say the elephant in the White House. President Trump is not going to be in office past January 20. The Electoral College, an outdated and often-hated institution, affirmed Joe Biden as our next President. That’s not the only factor against a 11th-hour Trump re-election, however, as the courts have laughed case after case after hare-brained case about election fraud out of the room. To put it bluntly, Trump’s f***ed. He has no legal way of holding on to power, and even his allies are telling him to step aside. Barring a brazen coup attempt that would be likely be doomed by Trump’s own lack of intelligence and excess of ego, he’s completely out of options.

To make matters even worse, he may soon be banned from his Twitter account, arguably an even greater love to him than Ivanka. You know, his own f***ing daughter. Seeing that this is his main way to cultivate support, a ban from Twitter would be ruinous for Trump and his remaining reputation. What’s he going to do, become a Parler influencer? Maybe then, he’ll finally be as irrelevant as he deserves to be. 

And now, discussing the impending implosion of Trump’s former Atlantic City casino as well as the neighbors wanting him out of Mar-a-Lago is my shock-jock twin brother Nate. You have been warned. That’s right, it’s time for the Lightning Round, where we discuss the absurd side of politics in an absurdly problematic way. Today, TMZ has reported about the explosive demolition of the President’s once-beloved Trump Plaza casino. This isn’t too shocking, as the resort has been closed since 2014, but the building itself, only 36 years old, is already falling apart rapidly. It’s almost as if there’s a bull in the proverbial china shop. 

And speaking of Trump, his future neighbors at Palm Beach do not want him moving back into Mar-a-Lago. Then again, this guy has become so toxic, he’s the physical manifestation of food poisoning diarrhea. What I mean by that is that there’s a damn good reason these people don’t want him around, and not just because of a legal agreement from the 90s that prevents Trump from establishing permanent residence there. Of course, this man-baby has laughed in the face of the law for decades and has yet to receive more than a slap to the face. However, his luck is running out faster than a grown mayfly runs out of mere minutes to live. Hopefully, President Trump feels the sting of being newly irrelevant soon, or else the years after his Presidency will be almost as long as the years within.