Up To Date With Ethan Callender

O Say Can You Please Entry 13: Pain from Ukraine Source: framedtweets.com     Mr. President, it’s for more than just that.     As if it wasn’t completely obvious already, this entry will be all about impeachment. This is because Nancy Pelosi, Speaker of the House, finally got her act together and decided to put the President through impeachment proceedings. The reason for this was a troubling call to the President of Ukraine that aimed to gather dirt on Democratic presidential primary candidate Joe Biden. This is due to Biden’s son Hunter having some shady dealings with that country’s government, to say the least. The call came under intense scrutiny, and now, the camel’s back is not just broken, but probably shattered.     The actual call is probably a good place to start this analysis. However, it is worth noting that this memorandum is not verbatim. Anyway, Trump called the Ukrainian President Zelensky (a former comedian who pla...

O Say Can You Please Entry 12: 2020: A Democratic Odyssey Another Democratic primary debate just took place, and it was different, that’s for sure. Kamala Harris continued to spiral out with a cringeworthy performance, and Andrew Yang delivered his first weak performance right when he was gaining momentum. Bernie Sanders and Joe Biden were both inconsistent, and Julian Castro delivered some terrible potshots. Amy Klobuchar was only slightly less listless than usual, while Beto O’Rourke showed that he wasn’t completely incompetent. Buttigieg, while decent as always, struggled to stand out, and Cory Booker only did slightly better. Finally, Elizabeth Warren got off to a slow start, but her performance was solid overall.     Now, it is time once again to rank these candidates based on three factors: electability, debate performance, and my silly personal opinion. These candidates are the viable ones now, but not all of them were thought to be such in the last ranking. C...

O Say Can You Please Entry 11: Mark This One Down* *Totally not dedicated in memory of Robert Mugabe (February 21, 1924- September 6, 2019), former dictator of Zimbabwe from 1980 to 2017.     Mocking President Trump isn’t as easy as walking and chewing gum; it’s as easy as either walking or chewing gum. The point is that this man is not really all there, and his outright refusal to admit his many mistakes only adds fuel to that fire. The most recent of his long series of blunders that would humiliate anyone else involves an outdated weather map, a lie, and a permanent marker. That’s right, Sharpiegate’s a thing now, and this could become one of the few Presidential embarrassments that actually might cause problems for Trump. This story is a marker stain on the already filthy hand of our Commander-in-Chief, and it won’t wash off anytime soon.     However, before we get to the loony parts of this situation, some context is needed. The weather map I men...