Up To Date With Ethan Callender

O Say Can You Please Entry 7: The Obligatory Top 10 of Something      Welcome back to O Say Can You Please… is what I would say if I had a story to write about. As a result of this lull, I will rank the Top 10 2020 Democratic Presidential candidates. As this is a ranking of Democrats, President Trump will not be included, but on a reassuring note to his supporters (and a frightening one to me), he would beat at least half of the people on the list proper. However. Before we begin, I will give joke awards to those who didn’t make the list, from No. 11 all the way down to No. 21. Here are the Semi-Honorable Mentions. By the way, all of these candidates are actually in the race, according to Rolling Stone , which is my main source for this whole list. Also, I am only using this source because of my focus on one party here. If Trump were involved with this ranking, I’d definitely pick a less progressive source. The “Dying Meme” Award (#11): Andrew Yang (Entrepreneur) (#...

O Say Can You Please Entry 6: Stop! Mueller Time!     Finally, after an unusually long hiatus, I am returning to my writing and am as ready to riff on current events as I ever am. During the hiatus, I unfortunately missed the story involving Biden getting a little too handsy, but besides that, there was precisely nothing worth reporting on to me. That is, until today. WikiLeaks mastermind Julian Assange was arrested in London today after spending seven years holed up in an Ecuadorian embassy. It may also be worth mentioning that he had to be carried out of the embassy by several men, and I am only saying this to humiliate him and his associates.     Many are calling Assange’s arrest a danger to press freedom, but I’m not one of them. True journalists don’t assist in hacking government computers and leaking diplomatic secrets , and Assange did just that. Rather, a true journalist is someone who reports about the news without resorting to hac...